boo

I came home to no wireless internet and only spotty regular. This annoys me greatly. M comes home tomorrow and then he has to deal with it! I tried the patented Reboot and Unplug Everything method, but it failed.



Can I just say I need to move to a bigger city? I ate eeeeverything this week. I mean anything and everything. I didn't run at all (though I probably wouldn't have since my leg is still bothering me. I guess I get to go back to PT.) I did 30DS twice (and was inordinately proud of myself even though I didn't have weights.) I didn't even think I walked that much...but I still lost a pound. I have no idea how, but I will take it.

ok, posting while I can.

Happy Dietitian Day!

Yeah, that's right. I have my own day ; )

I've got some great questions and I am looking forward to writing about the topics. Feel free to submit anything else...really at any time. I had a friend with an emergency this week, so it may be a few days on the questions. But it will happen!

Plus I want to talk about: 1) how awesome I'm getting at 30DS. And obvs how shredded I am after doing it 13 times (yes, I'm averaging like every other day. 60 Day Shred is more my speed.) I can feel I am getting a bit more muscle/strength in my arms and legs. 2) how I'm able to run faster and for longer than I have in a veeeeery long time. Basically, I'm amazing and an exercise machine. I'm pretty much Jillian Michaels' body double.

Jillian Michaels: Sadist for Hire

I really think that could be her resume. Her entire resume. Level 1 has been boring me and I've been getting tired of it. So I watch Level 2 and think "yeah, if I use light weights I can do that!"

hahahaha. Level 2 should be subtitled Death via Planks. I'm panting and dripping sweat. Which is just sad really. I should be able to do this for 25 mins! It is getting easier, but not that easy. I have decided to just enjoy Level 1 for my remaining 2-3 days.

Slacker

this has been me this week. A slacking eating machine.

I have reasons. Good reasons. But meh. I had a nasty infected tooth that got up into my maxillary sinus. How lucky am I to have a husband who can name my sinuses? And then tell me stories of CTs he has read that were sinus infections that infiltrated the brain. INFILTRATED THE BRAIN. THANKS SO MUCH, HONEY. SUPER HELPFUL. And when I get grumpy and sick, I think I should eat everything.

So I have been pretty low key in terms of running/shredding. Yesterday I did bowl, so I'm counting that as strength training. Until yesterday, every step I took jostled my head and made my face and teeth throb. I'm back to 30DS today. I have to say, I'm pretty bored of Level 1. I'm thinking of trying Level 2 soon. So far I have done it 7 times in 10 days which isn't too bad. I knew there was no chance of me doing it 30 days in a row. Above all I have to worry about my back and knees, so there are days I just can't do it. (like after bowling, omg, huge mistake. leaning over throwing 10 lbs balls. always a smart choice for people with lower back problems. ow.) But I'm trucking along b/c I put it out there. I know all 10 of y'all are just dying to see my results!

Long winded talking about myself

Good afternoon, kids!

Here are some random thoughts and pictures. Likely in no rational or logical order.

Lets start with dog pictures because you know they are cuter than I am.

This is Mabel (or MayBelle as my husband likes to call her. It is catching on, and now I say it with my ridiculous southern accent.) We have a big couch and then a big love seat. The love seat is where everyone sleeps. I have so many pictures of M and the dogs sleeping in crazy positions on this couch. I call it the napping couch. All living things are knocked out within minutes.

This is Bean. My dogs need haircuts badly. This is why it can be difficult to stretch or do 30DS with dogs. They think if I'm sitting on the floor than I must want to play. I can't tell you how many times they have dive bombed me from the ottoman to my belly as I got down to do crunches. They are tiny, but it still hurts! They are both silly and insane and I love them a ridiculous amount.




So yesterday was beautiful, so I decided to haul it around outside. I'm really kind of fascinated and confused as to why running outside is SO MUCH HARDER than the treadmill. I am not a good runner. But, I can't stand to walk on the tm so I try to run on it. I'm getting better at running on the tm and can actually run for a decent amount of time continuously (for me, that is. I'm sure others would laugh b/c it isn't good at all!) Outside, however, I feel immediately like I'm dying. My form feels spazzy, my legs barely work, my knees hurt, and I'm gasping for breath. I need a new word for outside running. At first I thought of slogging-sloooow jogging. But that doesn't really convey how slow I'm going or how difficult it appears to others or how lethargic and slothful I feel. So then I came up with slothing. But that just sounds like me slothing around the house (i.e. the other 23 hrs of the day.) Finally I decided on slogothing. Which doesn't seem as awesome when written. It makes sense when you are talking to yourself in your head while trudging around. Slow+jog+sloth+ing. Slogothing. (slogathing? slogithing? I don't know.)

But it was beautiful and there were many puppies in the park. About a mile from me there is a little community park with a soccer field and a track. It is pretty rundown and sketchy. But, it is close to a main street and there are usually people around during the day. I live in a...transitional neighborhood, let's say. I don't like to walk around by myself. Two women were attacked while running alone over the hill from me in the safest, and by far the richest area of the town. Both were running alone early in the morning and were attacked by the same person. I won't go into the specifics, but they are pretty horrifying. So I try to stay around other people, even though I'm embarrassed to have people see me slogothing. Plus, it is paved, not in danger from traffic (a local runner was struck and killed a few weeks ago while training for our marathon), and relatively flat. Of course, that means it is kind of a boring little run.

I used my new Runkeeper app from Android and it worked well! Told me how far and how fast I'd gone even with me just going in a circle. Yay for free stuff!

My little park. There are some adorable little kid soccer and teeny football games they play in the middle. Mostly people just let their dogs run around in it. Watching the dogs is the best part about going to the park.

You can see the main road on the top/left part. I figure no one can steal me away if I'm close to a main road. I wear headphones, but I'm still watchful. Plus, and I think this is probably from like an epi of Oprah from 1997, but I always look people in the eye and say hello as I see them. My thinking is "yeah buddy, I see you. I'm memorizing your face to tell the cops later. And I'm not shy or scared of you. I am totally badass. Please ignore the copious sweating, red face, and obvious exhaustion from the slogothing. I could still totally take you. In like an hour or so, if I can sit down for a bit. Be afraid."

See what I mean? Attractive! I am not one of those people that exercises and looks great. I sweat. My face gets bright red. I immediately need a shower. There isn't a possibility of me running and then going on about my day without a shower.


(I should cut the bench out. I was done for the day! No sitting for me!)










AND THEN I CAME HOME AND DID 30 DAY EVIL. AM SO HARD CORE AND FIT. BE IMPRESSED PEOPLE. IT SUCKED, I CAN'T EVEN PRETEND.

I have more stories to tell, but I've been typing forever and this thing is kind of ridiculously long. I will be impressed if anyone reads the whole thing.

So help a girl out! How can I get better at outside running? Just practice and pushing myself? C25K? work on the treadmill hard and hope it translates to outside? I am not a natural runner (obviously) so I will take any advice!

Also: slogothing? -athing? -ithing? Which makes more sense...if any?

No.

An open letter to Jillian Michaels

Dear Jillian,

I will never ever ever do jumping lunges. Ever. You are clearly just mean. Why would you do that to us? What have we ever done to deserve this?

Sincerely,
Someone who values her knees

(I kind of watched/fast forwarded through Level 2 and 3 just to see. I may never do level 3. I think I can do most of Level 2. I'm bored of 1. And jumping jacks seriously annoy me. I just pick some kind of jumping activity. I prefer to shake my ass back and forth. Also, I really don't see how I'm ever going to do even modified pushups.)

30 Day Shred. A daily timeline.

10am-wake up. nah, go back to sleep.
11am-wake up. Actually get up. Eat breakfast.
12pm-Think "oh crap. I have to do 30 Days of Evil. Again."
12:05pm-More TV.
1pm-Yep. Still have to do it. Oh, hey! TV.
2pm-Ok. Really going to do it! This is it!
2:05pm-TV
3pm-This is happening. I put on my exercise clothes. Which are very different from my pajamas.
4pm-You should really do this before the entire day is over. Hey, a Friends rerun!
4:30pm-I should stretch or something. That takes a very long time.
5pm-Sigh. Let's do this. Just get it over with.
5:05-I really hate jumping jacks. More than is rational. It is just jumping. But they annoy me.
5:10-Lunges are of the devil.
5:20-Oh hey! We are almost done. I'm barely warmed up!
5:30-Yay! done! Yay me. That was so easy and short. I don't know why I dreaded it all day. I am going to go run on the treadmill!
5:40-Oh look, a Friends rerun.

And that is how it is done, folks-5 hours dreading approximately 25 mins of activity. Good plan!
    

Alright kids!

I'm doing it. I'm going to commit to doing 30 days of 30 Day Shred. I definitely need some strength training in my life...if you can call little 5 lb weights strength training! Or the fact that I can do like 8 modified pushups where I maybe move 4 inches. I'm pretty sure that is how Jillian does them.

Today was my first day. Well, I guess I did it last weekend but I'm not counting that. I think I'm still going to get some walking hard core running on the tm/outside just because I enjoy it. And, let's be honest here, I need to burn some extra calories!

I think after 30DS I'm going to do a month of boot camp. Which I'm sure is going to kick my ass, badly. I did get a sweet Groupon deal, so at least I'm not hemorrhaging money in return for someone causing me physical and emotional pain. Hopefully Jillian + running will be a nice base so I don't embarass myself too badly in front of other people. At least Jillian's abuse is in the comfort of my own home!

Please be true

According to the Weather Channel, it is supposed to be 68 and sunny tomorrow! Please, please, please. I may take my little dog and pony show outside to run! Even though I run at an incline on the treadmill, I know that it isn't the same as running outside. I feel like maybe each mile on the treadmill is equal to about 1/4-1/3 of a mile outside.

Sore after 30 Days of Evil today, but not too bad. Mostly shoulders and inner thighs. I'm going to do a quickie inside run just to loosen up if my husband ever gets off his computer. Not really looking forward to that!

So I posted yesterday about doing the 30 DS here and elsewhere-it seems I made it sound like I was actually doing all 30 days. Which was not my intention! Funny thing I noticed-I had googled 30DS to get an image and some of the suggestions were 30DS results, before and after, etc. I took a look at the pictures of the results and looked at a few blogs. What I found FAR more in those results?? Before pictures. No afters. Seems most people get gung ho and put their before pics out there and talk it up...and then, um, stop. No surprise, it is pretty evil. I just thought that was funny. Let me tell you, I will never be putting up pics of me in my sports bra unless there is a super ripped after version of me (i.e. never.) But, I have to admit it made me curious. I think I might do an actual 30 days. Well, probably more like 20-25 days. Does anyone want to commit to doing a full month with me? I know Megan has been doing it pretty regularly already. I still want to run though, so I don't know how that all fits together. I'm sure I will figure out something!

30 Day Shred

AKA Jillian Michaels is Satan's Mistress. I'm just saying. She's pure evil, let's be honest here.

After my two last terrible runs where my back was killing me and I had side stitches from Hell (um, I guess everything bad is coming from Hell today. Stitches, Jillian, etc.) I decided to just do a workout dvd and call it a day. I've done 30DS many times...but super sporadically. Like, oh, once every 3 months or so. But, I know I need some actual strength training in my life so I'm trying.

My problem with the 30DS is my horrible, terrible, crazy weak knees. My knees are held together by some ground down cartilage and a prayer. Of all my many maladies, the knees were the first to go. In 4th grade. I'm not even kidding. So I have extreme joint laxity all over which means parts of me just dislocate at random. My kneecaps started dislocating in the 4th grade. That is literally all I can type about it b/c it is so traumatic and I have a sick, visceral reaction when I even think about it. So short story-knees pop out. It is terrible. Has been happening since I was a kid. Last happened the night I drunkenly stumbled met my husband at a college party. So I'm a terrible lunge-er. One-I have terrible balance and am klutzy. Two-ow, ow, ow my knees are dying. Three-how can I try to keep my balance while lunging and do something with my arms. Jillian, you are high.

But I did it, dammit. Well, a kind of wussy version. I can't do push-ups! I have the upper body strength of a 5 year old...actually that is probably generous, kids can be crazy strong. I mostly just hobbled through it. I think next time I might turn sadistic trollop Jillian down and listen to music. Maybe that would help!

I did inadvertently discover that there are some exercise options from Instant Netflix. They are from like 1997, but I may give them a go at some point.