All I ever talk about is boot camp. I need a new hobby.

Fitness instructors, help me out. Do you have a special class in school called "How best to torture, maim, and kill your students?" because I'm pretty sure you must.

Wednesday was fun. We worked more on strength...which normally I prefer. My endurance is zero, but I can actually strength train for longer than 2 mins without huffing and puffing.

We did veeery sloooow reps. Count of 5 up, count of 5 down. Four rounds of:
chest presses
TRX rows
pushups (omg, I can not push myself up slowly. I really need that momentum)
Sprints. Not cool after all that.
Kettlebell squats

I think it was about 90 seconds on 30 seconds rest x 4 for each. My time gets way wonky though. Like I know I sprinted for 18 mins and then rested for 0.2 seconds. That's just math.

So we do this all and we are feeling pretty awesome and strong. Good workout! But y'all. It keeps going.

1min burpees
1 min jumping lunges
1 min jumping squats
1 min mountain climbers
30/30 sec stationary lunges

No rest in b/t. I'm beginning to hate trainer and everyone else on the planet.

Oh hey guys! Run downstairs to the basketball court! (we workout on a track overlooking the basketball court when it is over 90 degrees. Which is pretty much every day.) Me: Oh God. No.

Sprint across and back!
Do it again!
Again!
One more time!
ok, 30 seconds rest.

Me: I will murder you in the face.

Hey! now do lateral shuffles!
Again!
Again!
Now face the other way.
Again!
Last time!
*Lateral shuffles are hard for those with terrible knees and are also completely clumsy. Not me, obviously. But other people. I've heard.*

Now let's do calf raises on the non-air conditioned stairs!

Me: can someone carry me out to my car? I can't walk down 3 flights of stairs. Or the 10 ft to my car.

Boot-camp Boot-camp Ghali

My husband loves that name and calls me Boutros from time to time. Most of our pet names are actually rude.

It was my fault. I started feeling like I was in great shape and boot camp was no longer the enormous challenge it was before. I did it to myself, really.

I have been going in the afternoon which I think definitely helps. More food in the system, not sleepy, had all day to kind of talk myself into it. We have plans tonight and I couldn't sleep thanks to my crazy back, so I decided to just get up and go like 10 mins before I had to leave the house.

Usually we do 4-5 circuits of things 4-5 times. It is tough, but doable.

Wednesday we did circuits of: TRX rows, TRX squat jumps, weird tubing rows, weird tubing chest press, run a bit, kettlebell squats, kettlebell deadlifts, partner assisted running with bands (aka my arch nemesis). We do about 45 seconds each part w/o rest until the end of the 4th circuit. This is our usual routine though the exercises usually vary. At the end they usually make us run about 1/3 to 1/2 a mile, then back for ab stuff.

Today he decided to do some kind of evil new plan.

3 minutes each to do: 50 squats then 50 burpees, run this terrible weighted bag up and down a hill, drag a tire, as many pushups as possible, 50 weighted squats and then 50 medicine ball slams. I did not make it to 50 by the end. We got a super rejuvenating minute of rest b/t all these.

Then it was on to 1.5 mins of V sit-ups, resistance twists (standing using your core. same basic trunk movement as swinging a bat), standing oblique reaches with kettlebells. Then! 50 bicycle crunches x 2, these weird crunches where you reach up and touch your raised leg, and these terrible ones where you get into bicycle crunch position but just lift a straightened leg up and down. I'm terrible at describing these things!

I was dying. I did not have enough breakfast for this!

This is what dying feels like

I think it is safe to say that bootcamp kicked my ass hard today. It is taking all my energy to type this. Going to go die now.

uh oh

So I finally am using my Groupon for Bootcamp. Tomorrow. You guys. I'm scared. I'm going to puke and then die.

RUNNERS. I NEED YOUR HELP!

So this might get a little long and pitiful, but please bear with me. I will try to do a Cliff's notes version.

--My body is totally effed up. It doesn't work right, isn't built right, and is all floppy. My ligaments don't hold me together, so my muscles try to do the job and then they both hurt. 

--Specifically challenging: my kneecaps dislocate and don't have much cartilage. They don't bother me too much unless I'm doing like weighted lunges or sitting with them bent for long periods of time. Knees were my first problem and the first indicator my ligaments sucked. I d/l the first one in 4th grade. They have remained relatively stable for about 10 years (praise the Lord, though I would take the old knee stuff for my current crap.)

--My pelvis is...askew in numerous fun ways. One side tilts forward, the other backwards. If your pelvis is supposed to be a bowl, mine is more like a towel being wrung. One iliac crest is about an inch higher than the others and a leg length discrepancy is either the cause or the symptom, idk.

--My chief complaint is my SI joint. A tiny little joint where your sacrum connects with your pelvis. it should move just a bit. Mine is permanently posteriorly rotated. It is an evil whore. It is never going to not hurt for me. No trauma, no injury. Just started hurting 6 years ago and hasn't stopped. Again: evil whore.

So I've had, and this is not an exaggeration, probably 2-3 years worth of physical therapy in the past 6. I do my exercises to stabilize my pelvis, strengthen my core, blah blah blah. I do it. I stretch. I ice. I do my exercises. I manage. There is a magic spot b/t not enough activity and too much that I try to find daily.

I've been trying to safely work on running. This means "running" so slowly and for very short periods of time. I warm up. I stretch. I focus on each step. I even wear my dorky back brace. Usually the first half mile to mile hurts. I'm thinking about each step, feel it in my back/hip/pelvis and want to stop. If I can get past that, I usually feel pretty good. Sometimes it just doesn't wear off. Like tonight.

Anyway, frequently when I walk/run my front upper thigh-hip area starts to hurt. Like if you took a really long step forward, it would stretch the top of your back leg. Only every single time I lift my leg, it hurts like hell. That little muscle or tendon or whatever that you feel when you lift your leg...as in flex knee to chest/pull knee upwards. Huuuuurts.

I don't know if it is the iliopsoas or what. I'm leaning towards that as part of my hip flexors. My PT used to squish her fingers UNDERNEATH the little ledge created by your iliac crest. You want to talk about painful! I do know that my back muscles are too tight and my abs are too weak, so I do tend to kind of lean back on my pelvis or arch my back.

Usually I just stretch the crap out of it and it is generally ok. Lately, that hasn't been cutting it. Tonight I just couldn't. It felt fine all day and then it hurt so so badly when I tried to run. Like hobbling, limping, crying hurt. I quit and am currently icing the crap out of it while popping nsaids. I took yesterday completely off, so I don't know if I have to run daily for it not to hurt or what.

Anyone have any advice? I'm googling, but can't find anything definitive.

IF YOU HAVE ANY IDEAS, EXPERIENCE, HELP, OPINIONS, ETC PLEASE LET ME HAVE THEM. IF YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO HAS EXPERIENCE, PLEASE PLEASE SEND THEM MY WAY. IF ANYONE SUGGESTS SOMETHING THAT WORKS, I WILL SEND YOU A PRIZE FULL OF ALL GOOD THINGS, I PROMISE. SHORT OF GOING BACK TO PT, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH IT.